‘So, question for Bill Beaumont’s team. You’ve given away a stupid free-kick about 25 yards out, your goalkeeper’s left an enormous gap at the near post and James Ward-Prowse is set to take it. What happens next?’

What a weird day, even by Goodison standards.

The football is what the football is. Everton always to struggle to create many chances and despite taking the lead with a first-half header from Amadou Onana, they threw it away in the second half, culminating in the Ward-Prowse free-kick. 

It must be said that probably the only one positive from the afternoon was Onana carrying on his form from the Manchester United cup tie. He’s definitely improving and becoming more positive, driving forward with the ball. So there’s that.

Ward-Prowse had gone close with a couple of efforts before he levelled straight after the break, taking a Che Adams flick down, kidding the plums off Ben Godfrey and slotting low past Jordan Pickford.

Everton’s response was laboured, as ever, but perhaps this season’s sliding doors moment might be when Dominic Calvert-Lewin’s speculative shot ballooned up off a defender and hit the bar instead of dipping in.

If that goes in then we probably don’t end up with bemused Colombians out on Goodison Road remonstrating with the Mountain Equipment Militia. Nor Antony Gordon running the Berghaus blockade. 

Typically, when Everton are shit people start acting weird, and that includes the club, who issued that statement prior to kick off. 

Who thought that was a good idea?

If the directors were threatened to the point that they legitimately feared for their safety, and if any of them have been assaulted by some nasty cunt, then the police need to be dealing with the individuals responsible.

End of chat.

The harsh reality of being involved with football in any capacity whatsoever is that there are always going to be people who don’t agree with you to some extent, especially if the team are playing like utter dog shit. 

There’s no point in going back and forth like them bare-knuckle woolybacks calling each other out for straighteners on YouTube. If you are not winning then some people are not going to like you and you can’t change their minds. There will be threats, QANon levels of conspiracy theories and lies, leaflets galore, people chatting utter bubbles on TalkSport, and banners.

Good god there will be banners. 

It’s not your problem.

You just fan the flames by worrying about people whose minds are already made up about you. After all, no matter how reasonable you might think you sound when you ring Jim White, they can just point to the league table and you don’t have a leg to stand on.

You also send the message that the way to get your attention is through violence.

That statement just looked like a transparent effort to discredit the supporters planning the sit-in. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but fans are genuinely upset at what they see unfolding before their eyes. So you cannot be surprised that they are sick of feeling helpless and want to express their frustration.

Get over your fucking thin skin and focus on what’s important – doing everything you can to ensure that the club avoids relegation. 

It’s shite that football is now so fucking poisonous, but you can only control the controllables.

And one of them is the future of Frank Lampard. You would question whether he even wants to be here now, surely? He was lucky to survive the Brighton game, but to then lose again at home. 

Something’s got to give.

It goes back to the Paranoid Persian though, who on the surface at least seems completely paralysed. He’s sacked managers before and that never solved our problems, and now he has one who the fans seem to be fond of – and indeed campaigned for – so will they be even more upset if he gets rid of him? Despite his record being absolutely abysmal?

Who would be a billionaire football club owner?

Unless we bring in some absolute studs to score goals though – which seems unlikely – then the only thing which would give the impression we haven’t accepted our fate is replacing the manager. His record is so poor that even just statistically it would be very difficult for someone else to do any worse.

Are we just waiting for David Moyes or Graham Potter to get sacked? The former has suspiciously started doing the rounds of podcasts lately; he seems to be pitching for something. He will get no leeway whatsoever though from the Goodison crowd. Unless he came in and transformed the team immediately then we are looking at being right back here where we are now at Benitez warp speed.

The final twist of the corkscrew of cack.