Did the trajectory of Everton’s season, and indeed Sean Dyche’s whole managerial career, change on 72 minutes at the Eco-Power Stadium?

You have watched the moment on repeat now, when Abdoulaye Doucoure, hemmed in on the left touchline, simply sends the ball ‘into the channel’ for substitute Beto to chase. The Portuguese powerhouse was already shifting into fourth gear, brushing off the recovering central defender and then flicking an early finish past the sprawling goalkeeper and into the net for the Toffees’ first goal of the season, and crucially the equaliser on what until then had been an excruciating evening.

Buoyed by the goal, Beto then crashed a blockbuster of a header against the post. To be honest, the prospect of the debutant ruining his dream start by missing a penalty in the shootout felt like it could still be the most Everton thing ever, but even that eventuality was snuffed out with two minutes remaining. 

The Blues’ were well on top by this point – as well they should have been against the bottom side in the whole league – as Arnaut Danjuma showed that he can indeed ‘finish his dinner’, playing a one-two with Neal Maupay, cutting inside from the left and slotting low into the bottom corner from just inside the box. 

The little teapot celebration looks stupid like, but we won’t nitpick at this point.

The first half was pretty much as bad as Everton have ever played. It was one of those weird David Moyes cup line-ups where it looks like he’s not only deliberately trying to exit the the competition, but also to destroy the confidence of a load of the fringe players.

They were absolutely shite in every department. Even last season’s star, Jordan Pickford, who had his weird moments on Saturday – especially when he came out for that through-ball and then stopped as if he’d remembered he’d left the gas on at home – was left flailing around his penalty area at times with his little arms in the air, as if the older boys wouldn’t give his satchel back.

Whatever’s going on with not contesting short corners needs addressing, as it was from one of these that the home side took the lead. On 44 minutes the ball was chipped up to Joe Ironside, whose whole fucking wheelchair was offside as he headed home. 

It was a well deserved lead.

Thankfully, the introduction of some senior players at half time – primarily Beto, but also the calming influence of Idrissa Gana Gueye and a bit of simple quality from Ashley Young – saw Everton begin to look like something resembling an actual team. Not necessarily a proper Premier League one, but a team nonetheless.

Expectations of Beto are going to be mental now, but it can’t be overstated how having a proper centre-forward, making proper centre-forward runs and generally doing actual centre-forward stuff, will make everyone else’s life so much easier. For the goal, for instance, without him making that instinctive run, Doucoure fights with the ball like it owes him money and then probably passes it back to the fullback. At best.

Finally then, a glimmer of something shiny amid the satchel of shite that has been this season so far. It may be only the wrapper off a Caramac, but it represents hope. And that’s enough for now.

It’s reported (speculated) that there will be more ‘moves’ in the transfer market in the next couple of days, with suggestions that Fulham may be willing to pay real money for Alex Iwobi. Given that the consensus was always that we were mental to pay £30 million for him in the first place, surely it would be even more insane to turn down the chance to recoup any portion of that, especially for someone in the final year of his contract. 

And who still runs like he’s lost one of the kids in the supermarket.

If Dyche and Kevin ‘Chris Finch from The Office’ Thelwell don’t have the wherewithal to replace Iwobi’s ‘energy’ then the pair want fucking off, quite frankly. We’ve said it before, and we will say it again (much like the Paul Calf ‘Caramac’ line then), giving massive contracts to fellas like Iwobi is exactly how we ended up here in the first place.

Up the flippin’ Toffees.