Be honest, these beating Tottenham – do they still say ‘down the Lane’? – kind of took the gloss off our win a little bit. 

If they hadn’t come back and got three points there as well, then Saturday’s game at Goodison would have looked like an opportunity to pretty much rubber-stamp Premier League survival. As it is though, even with the Toffees’ gritty (means played shite but got the points) victory at Brighton, you are sort of looking at this match as a bit of a double-edged Stanley knife, One of them ones with a match wedged between the blades to make the disfiguring scar harder to stitch up, senseless soccer-violence fans. 

If the turkey-featured Jamie Vardy and cohorts turn us over then we are right back in what some people like to call, the mire.

Do Muzzy Izzet and Steve Guppy still play for them?

Talking of odd-looking characters like Vardy, have you got on that weird Brighton manager? Not only does he have simply too much hair, but it’s a toss-up whether he looks like one of the crabs from the Fosdyke Saga, or just like someone punched a cow.

Also, Lenny Yoro is a cartoon dog with a slinky spring for a torso. Should have saved that one for the United game obviously, but, you know.

Hang on, while we are on the subject of United. Have you seen the clip of them lads, the most Mancunian men of all time, calling Jimmy Ratters all the cunts going after the Fulham game? There was a lot to unpack in the 30 second clip, but the best bit is the very start when he winds the window down, looking all magnanimous, asking whether they want to get a photo with him! The smug lack of self-awareness turning to absolute horror on the face of self-publicising melt, faced with the real-life ‘public’, red in tooth and claw and replica shirt, is truly remarkable. 

And only Willy Nelson and Paul Smith can carry off long hair at that age. Anyone else just looks like Killer Bob from Twin Peaks.

Talking of which, a belated so long to David Lynch, another one of the good ones gone. Every thing he did made you stop and have a look, at the very least. He couldn’t be boring if he tried. The first series of Twin Peaks was unlike anything else. As is the little bit of Bowie at the start of Fire, Walk With Me. The underrated Wild at Heart and stone-cold classics like The Elephant Man, Mulholland Drive and the incomparable Blue Velvet. Individuals like Lynch who have such an impact on the cultural consciousness simply through their own talent and their unique way of seeing the world.

What a life well-lived.