Match Report

Je suis Roberto.

It’s been written in instalments this, so the Stoke bit was completed before we went to St. James’ Park. Hopefully the tone is a bit sunnier at the end then, because after the defeat to Stoke it all started to feel a bit Ron Burgundy: ‘Well that escalated quickly’.

Oh Everton, your season has got one wheel in the ditch and one wheel on the track.

Oh you tricky Blues, oh you tricky Blues, you’re driving your mamas and papas insane.