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Everton set to complete blockbuster transfer of ‘phlegmatic’ midfielder. Terms agreed.

Why does the logo for the new ground look like Woodstock from Peanuts with his head out the car window?

Everton must sign £22.5k per week ‘centaur’ once described by Guardiola as ‘better than only having 10 men I suppose.’

Before we start – this doesn’t represent some bid for that much-coveted better Bluedom. I was visiting family in Washington State and we combined it with a trip to Minneapolis to take in the whole Toffees on Tour experience.