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Move closer. Don’t worry, we’re not going to take a swing at you.

So, are we fucking moving or what?

Everton at home. We all turn up. Romelu Lukaku scores. The Toffees take all the points. You know the dance by now.

Can you mention Romelu Lukaku’s ‘super agent’ without singing his name as the opening line of Heaven 17’s Temptation?