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It’s a right royal pain in the puncture when you have your story more or less written in your head and then Everton go and spoil it.

Happy now?

Have you posted ‘Why don’t they just wind the club up and put us out of our misery?’ online somewhere, same as every other summer? 

Celebrity QCs. What sort of intimidating nickname is Super Silk? Sounds like bum lube. Should have called himself Larry the Bastard. VAR making obvious decisions lengthier and more convoluted than Oppenheimer.  Pretending to be outraged by opposition chants. Admit you find nothing more utterly life-affirming than when you are frantically scrolling on your phone, all…