Leighton Baines
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First of all, an apology. Last week, while musing on how Roberto Martinez would cope with the absence of Leighton Baines, we deduced that Bryan Oviedo’s absence from the derby squad meant that the Everton manager doesn’t rate him. In fact, the term ‘a bit shit’ was used. Well, the Costa Rican started against Stoke…
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In the aftermath of a game in which Kevin Mirallas’s foul was so heinous it threatened to wipe out several generations of Suarezs (Suarii?) it turns out that it’s actually one of Everton’s players who is quite badly knacked. Leighton Baines, who limped out of the derby after 50 minutes, has been diagnosed with a…
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‘These are nothing special. The only thing we have to fear here is just being typical Everton’. Five minutes later Philippe Coutinho is left completely unmarked at a corner and typical Everton are a goal down. However, rather untypically for modern derbies the Blues went on to batter Liverpool for most of the first half…
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Ahoy hoy! It’s been a while. International breaks are normally an absolute nuisance but it’s allowed This Is Not Football some valuable time to find a way around the stringent anti-cussing rules on Newsnow. Some drastic action was required and in the end we bought a tramp steamer down at the docks, had it kitted…
This is not football 
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