Romelu Lukaku
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Manchester, so much to answer for. In an extremely unusual move this beginning bit has actually been rewritten. It originally started off looking over David Moyes’s time at Everton and how he left and what he did for the club and then weighing up how Roberto Martinez has taken over and what he’s done differently and…
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First of all, an apology. Last week, while musing on how Roberto Martinez would cope with the absence of Leighton Baines, we deduced that Bryan Oviedo’s absence from the derby squad meant that the Everton manager doesn’t rate him. In fact, the term ‘a bit shit’ was used. Well, the Costa Rican started against Stoke…
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Ahoy hoy! It’s been a while. International breaks are normally an absolute nuisance but it’s allowed This Is Not Football some valuable time to find a way around the stringent anti-cussing rules on Newsnow. Some drastic action was required and in the end we bought a tramp steamer down at the docks, had it kitted…
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You have probably gathered already that the lack of a preview for this game was in fact an achingly post-post-modern comment on a match in which almost nothing of any significance actually happened. That’s right, it was so post-modern that we slagged the game off before it even took place. The fact that most of…
This is not football 
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