After the Norwich City game a massive case of ‘better fucking things to do’ kicked in, hence no update for a bit.
There’s only so many ways you can describe Everton playing nice enough football but lacking the ‘firepower’ to reduce their opponents to sulky booking-magnets for the closing stages of the match. Try we must though, because at Carrow Road they led at half time thanks to a neat Leon Osman header from a Leighton Baines cross, but we only got the customary ‘good hour’ from the Blues who crumbled worse than David Price putting on a big hat as soon as the opposition played their joker.
The week before it was Oldham throwing Robert Pershing Wadlow into the mix that set Evertonian arses quivering like a bunny rabbit’s nostril; for Norwich it was the introduction of a fella on loan from Kansas City who actually does look like a cowardly lion. The five minutes when he scored the equaliser from a corner and then the news came through that Arsenal had retaken the lead against Aston Villa felt like the critical kick in this season’s bollocks.
To top matters off, pumpkin-headed goal-getter Grant Holt stabbed home a winner so deep into injury time that there were creatures lurking in the goalmouth that have never seen the sun. That’s deep.
David Moyes came in for criticism afterwards – for bleating about the amount of added time and petulantly refusing to shake the referee’s hand – but most of all because of a late substitution that pretty much summed up what most people, not just his harshest critics, see as his biggest failing: his lack of daring at crucial moments.
With Norwich forced to push on and take risks, and Everton dropping back towards their own goal, Nikica Jelavic became isolated up front. The pacey, direct Kevin Mirallas was on the bench, but instead of coming on to run at the home defence and lend support to the striker, he simply replaced him. An isolated centre-forward swapped for an out-of-position, and still isolated, winger.
Almost everyone else would have taken off Steven Naismith instead. He’s not having a great time, although people do sometimes wonder what sort of player he is and what his best role is.
To answer those two questions briefly:
a) Imagine if you took the tenacity and aggression of Phil Neville and the touch and vision of Leon Osman. Got it? Well, with what you’ve got left over…
b) A cone.
He clearly does his best, and he’s scored more derby goals than any of us ever will, but when you consider Jermaine Beckford and even Denis Straqularsi were jibbed off after one season in royal blue, you have to think his card might be well and truly marked.
The gloom after the Norwich game was almost overwhelming – it was hard to believe that this is the same squad of players that not so long ago people saw as genuine, strong contenders for a Champions’ League spot. There is any number of theories concerning why the Blues have fallen out of contention for fourth place, and may even struggle to finish above Liverpool, and they range from tiredeness, a lack of impetus after the transfer window, Moyes’s contract shenanigans and, as discussed already, the manager’s lack of adventure, especially when in a winning position.
All those factors may play a part to a lesser or greater degree, but a phrase that keeps springing to mind is one used a while ago by worthy but really-quite-joyless football writer Jonathan Wilson, and that is ‘regression to the mean’. In short, you might have a good start, a good finish, or you might just be ‘inconsistent’ throughout the season, but over time you will average out just about where your quality dictates. When you think about it, we accept that the best side finishes top of the league and the worst ends up at the bottom, so it’s probably fair to expect the seventh best will, well…you get the gist.
Arsenal always perk up towards the end of the season and are good at smashing the granny out of sides who have given up while Tottenham without the freakishly effective Gareth Bale are at least as good as Everton. And as for Liverpool, well, we shall see.
The Oldham game was thankfully straightforward, despite a scare when Jose Baxter struck a post moments after Mirallas had put Everton in front with the sort of instinctive finish that Jelavic must remember so vividly while lying awake at night staring at the ceiling. A Baines penalty and a glancing header from Osman meant that even when Smith eventually trundled on and scored from another one of the visitors’ tremendous corners there was never any real chance of another fightback.
That lifted the mood a bit, but there seems to be a real reluctance to get too carried away – we’ve all been here too many times before and no one is under any illusions about how awkward Wigan could be in the quarter-final.
If this is the end of the Moyes era at Everton then it would be amazing if the players could rediscover their early-season form and send him off with a flourish. He has his flaws but to see his reign being described as almost 10 years wasted, as some recent articles seem to be suggesting, is hugely unfair.
If he doesn’t sign a new deal in the summer he will leave behind a club with a squad of internationals and a professionally run playing side that is a million miles from the disaster zone that he inherited from Walter Smith. It used to hurt to hear the Everton job described as a poisoned chalice, and it’s only Moyes’s efforts, in often very difficult circumstances, that have stopped the role being viewed in such a light.
It’s inevitable that every mishap between now and the end of the season will be seen through the prism of his non-committal to a new contract, and he has brought that on himself. That said though, he could argue that it would be more destabilising for him to announce a decision to quit with so much of the season remaining. You can guarantee he would be accused of it if he did.
In the unlikely event that he does extend his stay there will always be the suspicion that he is only at Goodison because of a lack of alternatives, which raises the question whether he might go even if there is no dream job available straight away in the summer. Could he ‘do a Rafa’ and have some time off and simply wait for another decent job to pop up? One thing’s for certain, one will, and sooner rather than later.
Despite a degree of revisionism and a marked willingness by some to take certain statistics out of any meaningful context, the 10 years under Moyes have, on the whole, been far more rewarding than the 10 that preceded them. Hopefully they won’t be soured by what could be the final couple of months.
The title mentions Reading but this piece has gone on long enough, quite frankly. So fuck ‘em.