Hey there, it looks as if a lot of the transfer window courtship is starting to get real and it will soon be time for clubs to actually book a taxi and take players back to their pad to look at their etchings.
Everton have been linked with various exotic names, including Standard Liege’s Belgian under-21 striker Michy Batshuayi, and now most startlingly Stoke City’s Kenwyne Jones.
That’s right, you have to sort of sit and let that one percolate for a little while, don’t you.
It could all be a load of old bollocks, clearly, although phrases such as ‘available for as little as one million pounds’ tend to set your Spidey-speculation-senses all aquiver.
What’s most notable about this story though is just how much it highlights the goodwill that Roberto Martinez has built up in half a season in charge at Goodison Park. Because, let’s be brutally honest, almost every fibre in your being is screaming out ‘HE IS FUCKING SHITE!’ but yet there is some tiny part of you that has been hypnotised, Paul McKenna-style, by the soothing tone and gently undulating Bert of Sesame Street eyebrows of Martinez and is sort of thinking ‘this could actually be an inspired bit of business’.
It doesn’t matter that you would be howling with delight if Jones was linked with Liverpool, you are thinking ‘well we do need cover for Lukaku, and on his day Jones can be a handful for anyone. So what if his day does fall on a Leap Year…’
It’s ace isn’t it? Despite the fact that Jones is pretty much a proven, consistent Premier League non-performer, you can’t help think that if Roberto rates him then maybe he can finally fulfil his potential at Everton. After all, how many people thought that Gareth Barry was going to be completely, absolutely brilliant, hmmm?
And what if the papers are reporting that Jones is acting quite the gobshite in agitating for a move – surely that just shows how desperate he is to play for the Blues. That’s the kind of commitment that we want. Sign him up!
Incidentally, we couldn’t help noticing while doing some research on Jones (looking at his Wikipedia page) that in Trinidad he played for a couple of clubs, Joe Public and W Connection, who sound as if they produced seminal Chicago house white labels.
Perhaps they did.
Anyway, have you built yourself up so much now that if this whole Jones interest just ends up being a ploy to strengthen our hand in negotiations with whichever long-legged lump we really want to play up front that you will actually be a bit disappointed?