There’s no law that says you have to update it every day. Stop thinking so analogue. This is agile blogging for the next century.
Anyway, the sooner this World Cup is over the better, just so we can get down to the serious business of speculating wildly about who Everton may or may not be buying. ‘May not’ usually tends to be your safest bet, but who knows, in this post-Fellaini-money-get-any-bleeder-in-on-loan new existence, anything is possible.
Before we start looking at completely fresh faces, we mustn’t forget the players like Arouna Kone, Darron Gibson, Bryan Oviedo, maybe that big lanky striker – one in one, don’t knock it – and a fully pre-seasoned Aiden McGeady. These cats will all undoubtedly be hailed as like new signings at some point. And that’s before we even consider the capture of Gareth Barry.
The big-faced bosser of midfield took his time but eventually the prospect of a three-year deal at Goodison proved too good to turn down. At 33, is anyone surprised? He was great last season – probably as responsible as any one player, including Romelu Lukaku, in making Roberto Martinez’s first season in charge such a memorable one. Losing him would have been a blow then. Still, you can’t help think he is going to look like Gerard Depardieu by the time he bows out on his Everton career.
Tony Hibbert’s signed a new two-year deal as well.
Short of winning a free cocktail at Carnage Magaluf, Lukaku couldn’t have appeared more promiscuous this summer whenever he took a break from honking out the World Cup in order to make all sorts of statements about his possible future. He said that Everton is a possibility and that he wants to win titles.
Well, which one is it?
Martinez obviously thinks there’s a chance of getting the bludgeoning Belgian for some sort of club record fee. It’s weird though, the fans seem ambivalent about the whole thing despite Lukaku’s impressive goalscoring form last season. He produced the goods, and he’s still extremely young, but there’s just something about him and his all-round game that’s lacking.
It might be those doubts that have left the supporters philosophical, or it might just be the acceptance that we will ultimately be outbid for him, no matter what we offer.
The internet thinks that we may have signed Bosnian international midfielder Mohamed Besic. Ironic given that his uncle Alan used to despise Scousers when hosting his seminal late-night phone-in on Red Rose Radio.
‘Alan, do goldfish masturbate?’
Young Mo has the most underwhelming Youtube tributes since Andy van der Meyde’s happy-hardcore-soundtracked corner-winning showreel. It basically amounts to him being ‘neat and tidy’ in some international game and then a long range blammer in some obscuro-league, the footage of which is so grainy it looks like one of them terrorist training videos with fellas in balaclavas and Kalashnikovs doing synchronised kung fu kicks in the desert.
Talking of the internets, if you believe the wacky emails you get every time that something unfortunate befalls a team or manager during the contest in Brazil, former Blues boss David Moyes has spent the whole summer glued to his phone.
‘How many times do I have to explain it to you? They are not ‘free’ minutes if you don’t fucking use them all!’
The link to Galatasaray was a particularly interesting one. Imagine the furore he would cause if he marched to the centre circle and planted a flag in the turf following a well-earned point at Burzaspor.
Poor old Davey Davey. Even we can’t help skitting him and we remain fonder of him than most.