Ballroom Dance Scene

It’s all go, isn’t it?

Go, Go, Go Donny. Show Us What You’re Made of, Donny

Understandably, Evertonians are wary of fair-haired Dutch give-and-go merchants. Often described as technically good, this tends to be as opposed to actually good. 

There will certainly be a lot of eyes then on Donny van Der Beek as he and his bankrobber-wearing-tights-on-his-head features get some of the game time that he’s been denied at Manchester United by the form of Fred and Scott McTominay.

He’s got a lot to prove. Which will hopefully be a good thing for him and for the Super Blues.

Go Johnny Go Go Go Go

Does anyone know if the deal for Dele Alli is an absolute coup or another example of Farhad Moshiri being, and I quote, ‘mental’? It would appear we’ve either been paid to take Ali off Spurs’ hands or we’ve been had off for £40 million. No one seems to be quite certain.

The Lack of Transparency

What does the above actually mean when it comes to football? It’s one of those phrases that just gets wheeled out whenever people are dead angry about their team losing games of football but don’t want to admit it because the fans of other clubs that are going bust, etc. might consider them somewhat entitled.

‘It’s the lack of transparency that frustrates the fans!’

Genuinely, what are you expecting to be consulted on? 

‘Hello Mark, it’s Farhad.’

‘Oh hello mate, how’s Monaco? Me, I’m just in work. No, go on it’s fine, the boss has gone home  – we’re all just sat watching Trisha and flicking our beans. Hit me with it, I’m all ears. Hang on, one sec. TURN THAT DOWN WILL YOU I’VE GOT FARHAD ON THE PHONE HERE BEING TRANSPARENT YOU SHOWER OF PISSED CUNTS. I know, I know, I’m surprised that any of these planes get landed safely, the antics out of this shower. So then, who is it you are thinking of appointing in a key role at the club who you want my opinion on?’

Fair enough, he’s had a horrible record of appointing managers – Rafael Benitez, Sam Allardyce, and that Italian snake who he backed to the hilt and paid a million pounds a month before he just fucked off without so much as a by your leave – so that possibly wants questioning. But a ‘lack of transparency’?

Or the other pearler. ‘He never let Marcel Brands do his job.’

Who the fuck knows that for sure? And if he didn’t, why didn’t Brands spew it? Unless of course he actually enjoyed not doing his job and getting weighed in for it. No one outside the club knows what Brands’ responsibilities where and whether he discharged them with any vigour or not. 

There’s that lack of transparency again… 

Kia, There and Everywhere

While we’re on the subject of things that just get repeated until they enter accepted lore, how does the insidious influence of Kia Joorabchian actually work? If he had a close relationship with a manager you would definitely be all over it; there’s the huge potential for a conflict of interest if he is paying inflated fees for the agent’s clients so as to siphon the club’s money into his own sky rocket. That one’s as old as time.

What’s in it for an owner though? If he wanted to line anyone’s pocket he could literally hand them a big bag o’ readies given that it’s his money. 

Non-Flushable Tokens

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These include:

A feud with Phil McNulty

The spelling mistake ‘Slaven Bili’

The lack of change for a 20 pound note at five to three

Huth Kanu Luton Airport