What a sordid little encounter this is.

Perhaps then it’s appropriate that it’s at the home of a club run by estimable purveyors of jazz mags, wrist pamphlets and other assorted one-handed media. 

You can imagine a chorus of ‘sacked in the morning’ being greeted by a comedy, synchronised pointing of the finger at their own chest and a mouthed ‘Who? Me?’ from both Frank Lampard and David Moyes. 

If Moyes had already been sacked prior to this match – as was rumoured to be happening – then you would have thought he was 100% lined up for a return to Goodison. That never happened though, and the Blues apparently continue to try to bring in new players, or so it is reported.

Have the club decided to stick with Frank Lampard regardless of the result here then?

Or is the pool of ‘talent’ that we are fishing in so small that any incoming replacement is going to have to settle for Arnaut Danjuma and possibly Duvan Zapata anyway? And that’s if he’s fucking lucky.

The other alternative of course is that they’ve not sorted out a replacement for Lampard yet because the boardroom is now like one of them infamous episodes of Big Brother when they gave them loads of ale and they go fucking bananas, screaming at each other, slamming doors and running out into the garden. 

Just a long, silent shot of Kevin Thelwell and Grant Ingles under blankets on the couches looking at each other wide-eyed and doing a little grimace as the music kicks in for the end credits.

It’s become morbidly fascinating what the besieged board are going to do in terms of attending matches at Goodison in the wake of that now infamous statement, presumably penned by their public relations advisor, Kanye West. 

You can only think that they are just going to double down and stay away for the foreseeable future, or at least until the team are safe from relegation.

And yes, that ‘until’ is doing a lot of heavy lifting in that last sentence.

You would not put it past them though to turn up for the Arsenal game with a phalanx of high-vis heroes cramming the Main Stand and that big beardy juice-head who walks Anthony Joshua to the ring sat right next to Bill Kenwright and Denise Half-Nelson-Baxendale.

Evertonians are convinced that Danny Ings will score, because we were linked with him, but no doubt the home supporters will feel the similarly about Amadou Onana, for the same reason.

We will be right though, let’s face it.