Match Report

Match Report

  • Hull City and The Summer and That

    Roberto had a dream. He was back in his old primary school, naked, but no one appeared to be able to see him as he tried to preserve his modesty and yet attract their attention at the same time. To be honest it probably had nothing to do with football and certainly doesn’t merit a…

  • Everton 2 Manchester City 3

      Picture the scene. It’s the final home game of the season at 5.30pm on a Bank Holiday weekend, European football is guaranteed and so there is nothing really to play for when Everton face one of division’s top sides. How would you imagine the atmosphere? Carefree and celebratory, surely? Especially at the end of…

  • Southampton 2 Everton 0

    “And after this game finishes, make sure to stay tuned for some classic Jean-Claude van Damme in Hard Target, director John Woo’s first Hollywood feature.” Thursday night, Channel 5. Spiritual home of Tottenham Hotspurs and Gremlins 2. If they still have the Europa League games, like. They probably don’t. How would you know, who watches…

  • Everton and Footy and That

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    ‘Come in Dave, take a seat. Just, hang on, make sure that door’s shut properly behind you. That’s great. Anyway, thanks for getting in handy at such short notice. So do you have any idea why I’ve asked you here?’ ‘Ed, I could see your fucking scythe through the window. Is that meant to be…