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How do you get a lion’s head through customs?

He only writes when they’re winning. Too frigging right. Who can be arsed talking about us when we look shite such as at St. James Park the other night when a goal from Danny De Vito in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest was enough to condemn the Toffees to their third defeat in a…

I just can’t believe that Paddington is dead. 

Well that was fun.  The derby is normally something to endure rather than enjoy, such has been the disparity between the two teams for some time, but this was a bit an early afternoon barn-burner, with the Toffees giving as good as they got.