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A Cruyff turn past that centre-half who looks like Rishi Sunak, a swish – yes, a swish – of the right boot, and Dominic Calvert-Lewin capped arguably one of his best complete centre-forward displays for Everton with a winner early in the second half at the home of the Unhappy Hammers. It could have been…

So the rumours are true and Bill Kenwright leaves us for the great Boys Pen in the sky, and takes with him forever the secret of ‘the Arteta money’.

Message to Josh Wander.  Stop ringing my Nan.

And so, just like that, the Goodison Park pendulum of catastrophe swings back to ‘just wind the club up and give us our Saturdays back’.