Johnny, Remember Me

No sooner had we shouted ‘roll the presses’ on the M’Baye Niang transfer round-up type story when another name was thrown into the ring – the ring of transfer speculation goodness – and that name belongs to Kevin Mirallas.

And yes, he does sound like he should be warning up for Wally Lopez in Amnesia, but he is in fact a 24-year-old Belgian international winger-cum-striker who currently plays for Olympiacos. Didn’t that used to be spelt with a ‘k’? Anyway, he performs for them with some distinction – last season he finished as the Greek league’s top scorer and was voted the best player in the country.

Watching him on Youtube, with the sound down, naturally, so as not to endure the horrible Euro-dance shite soundtrack that is de rigeur with player montages, it becomes immediately evident why Mirallas has been dubbed ‘the Belgian Ronaldo’. In fairness, that was just in the title of one of the Youtube clips, but that’s good enough for us. He has the same upright run and ‘cut inside and twat it’ style as the Portuguese plum, and although the immediate reaction is always to say, ‘You can’t really judge from Youtube’, the fact is the film shows him repeatedly skinning fellas and slotting home pearlers. Granted, you wouldn’t make the decision to spend a load of cash on him on that basis – you’d like to think David Moyes has done a little bit more research than just Googling him then – but it’s more than enough reason to feel ‘quite excited’ as a supporter at the prospect of him coming to Goodison.

Reports seem to vary slightly, from Mirallas being courted by a number of clubs – ones who you would sign for before us, to be honest – and him being scheduled to arrive on Merseyside on Thursday for a medical and to tie up a deal.

Reading around all the stories linking us with Mirallas, it’s incredible that while they mention his career in Greek and French football, none of them make any reference to him playing ‘flamboyant’ – we all know what that means – music producer Joe Meek in the film Telstar.

Fucking amateurs.

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