Joaquin Correa sounds like an advert for a hitman at the Job Centre.
Talking of ‘sounds likes’, we’re apparently back in for my all-time favourite, the Inter Milan defender who sounds like what South African parents tell the babysitter on their way out for the evening.
You remember correctly: Stefan de Vrij.
Going back to Correa, didn’t he come to Goodison a few times and look great for Sevilla? It may have only been the once, but it felt like him and Ever Banega used to always come over for that final pre-season game where we played some Europa League hopeful who passed us off the park, put a dampener on the opening day of the season and had people predicting a relegation struggle. What was meant to be a sort of technical exercise would end up with us lumping the ball into the box for the last 10 minutes, trying to scramble a face-saver.
Some German fella definitely scored one of the best free-kicks ever in one of those games. It’s probably on YouTube and actually not that great, but at the time the bend and dip on it seemed ridiculous from the Park End.
Elsewhere, imagine being Simone Biles and being bothered what people are saying about you on the internet. The American gymnast has more or less withdrawn from the Olympics because of mental health issues, admittedly not all social media driven, but it has been cited as a contributory factor.
If you listen to any interview with someone in the public eye, no matter how hardworking, creative and successful they are, the conversation inevitably turns to the impact social media has had on their lives, and it’s rarely positive. Granted, the very nature of the people doing the interviewing – podcasters, et al – have an over-developed interest in that sphere, and so lead the conversation in that direction, but it’s really sad to see young people especially becoming almost crippled by their interactions in what is ultimately the Matrix. Albeit one that they subject themselves to voluntarily.
Simone Biles! For fuck’s sake.